Do Doulas Replace Partners?
How They Actually Work Together During Labor
Labor is an intense and life-changing experience, not just for the birthing person but also for their partner. Partners often want to be involved and helpful, but they aren’t always sure how to best support labor. This is where a doula can be a great resource by guiding and empowering partners to be as involved as they want and ensuring the birthing person receives continuous care.
A Doula Supports Both the Birthing Person and Their Partner
One common misconception about doulas I hear all the time is that they replace the role of a partner during labor. In reality, a doula enhances the experience for both the birthing person and their partner by offering emotional, physical, and informational support. A doula doesn’t take over; instead, they work alongside partners, providing them with tools and guidance to be the best support they can be.
How Doulas and Partners Work Together
Labor can be unpredictable! No matter how much you prepare and plan, you are bound to come across situations where you need some extra support. Having a doula present allows partners to stay grounded and present without feeling overwhelmed. It allows you to be more in the moment, knowing someone else is there who knows your preferences and can keep you informed. Here’s how a doula and partner can work together seamlessly:
Providing Reassurance: Doulas help partners understand what’s happening during each stage of labor so they feel more confident in their role. Many times, things happening in the delivery room can seem foreign or even scary when you’re unsure of what the medical terms mean or what the equipment is for. A doula will be able to keep you informed as things arise.
Hands-On Guidance: During pregnancy, doulas can teach partners comfort techniques such as counterpressure, massage, and breathing exercises. Practicing them beforehand makes it feel a little more comfortable and even like second nature! During labor, your doula can remind you of these techniques and offer suggestions as to which may be helpful throughout the different stages.
Tag Team Support: Labor can be long, and partners need rest, too! Having a doula present can allow the partner to rest knowing that their loved one is being taken care of. A doula can also help remind the partner to care for their basic needs, like hydrating, eating, and taking bathroom breaks. Doulas can also give guidance on when it is a good time to take these breaks, and when things seem to be progressing and the partner should stay nearby.
Emotional Support: Sometimes, partners need reassurance as much as the birthing person does–and that’s okay! A doula can offer encouragement and answer questions, helping ease any anxiety. Doulas will also check in with the partner periodically to ensure theyre doing well giving the birthing person that ease of mind of wanting to make sure their partner is okay.
Navigating the Birth Space: Doulas help partners communicate with medical staff, advocate for birth preferences, and make informed decisions if unexpected situations arise. As things change, a doula can be a constant source of unwavering support.
Practical Ways a Doula Helps Partners Support Labor
A doula doesn’t take away from the special connection between a birthing person and their partner—instead, they enhance it. Here are some practical ways a doula can help partners feel more engaged and confident during labor:
Creating a Calming Atmosphere: From dimming lights to making sure your playlist is on, doulas guide partners in setting up a relaxing birth space. Making sure you know what options are available to you in the birth space and when/how to use them keeps everything moving along smoothly and calmly.
Encouraging Connection: Doulas remind partners of small but meaningful ways to support their loved one, such as offering water, whispering words of encouragement, or holding their hand. This not only helps the couple stay connected but also encourages the flow of oxytocin.
Helping with Positioning: Whether it’s using a birth ball, trying different labor positions, or assisting with movement, a doula can show partners the best ways to help.
Providing Advocacy Support: A doula helps partners understand medical options and interventions in real time so they can advocate with confidence.
Building a Birth Team That Works for You
Every laboring person deserves a supportive and confident birth team! A doula’s presence doesn’t diminish a partner’s role; rather, it strengthens it. When doulas and partners work together, the birthing person receives the best of both worlds—the comfort and familiarity of their partner’s love, combined with the expertise and reassurance of a trained birth professional.
If you’re expecting and wondering how to prepare for labor as a team, consider working with a doula. Not only will they help the birthing person feel supported, but they will also empower the partner to be fully present and engaged in the process. Together, you can create a birth experience that feels connected, informed, and filled with support.
