Let’s Talk About Rage: The Postpartum Emotion Nobody Warns You About
We hear so much about postpartum being tender, cozy, and full of bonding. But for many parents, the newborn phase comes with a surprising, and sometimes scary, emotion: rage.
Yes, rage.
Not just frustration. Not just irritability.
Rage that hits like a wave and leaves you wondering, “Why am I so angry? What’s wrong with me?”
You’re not alone. And nothing is wrong with you.
Postpartum rage is incredibly common, but rarely talked about. As a doula, I want to help you understand what’s behind it so you can feel supported, not ashamed.
What Postpartum Rage Really Looks Like
Postpartum rage can show up differently for everyone. You might notice:
Snapping over small things
Feeling overstimulated by crying, noises, or touch
Irrational anger at your partner
Impatience you don’t recognize
Crying after an outburst
Feeling guilty, embarrassed, or confused
This doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. This doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It simply means your body and mind are overwhelmed.
Why Postpartum Rage Happens (It’s Not Your Fault)
Hormones in Freefall
After birth, hormone levels shift dramatically. Estrogen and progesterone drop quickly, which can affect mood, sleep, and stress regulation.
Sleep Deprivation (The Ultimate Trigger)
Your brain simply cannot regulate emotions the same way when you’re barely sleeping, feeding around the clock, and recovering physically.
Mental Load + Sensory Overload
Feeding, soothing, healing, managing the home, answering texts, learning everything at once… it piles up.
Plus: newborns are LOUD.
Your house is LOUD.
Life is LOUD.
For a nervous system already stretched thin, even a cabinet closing too hard can feel like the last straw.
Unmet Needs (Dietary Ones)
Aside from the lack of sleep, most new parents are not nourishing their bodies properly. The postpartum body’s food needs are much different from your day-to-day eating needs— especially if you are breastfeeding! A lot of postpartum parents are starving, and what’s worse? They don’t even know it.
When your body isn’t properly nourished, it cannot function at its best. And yes, it even affects your mental health.
High Expectations
When parents feel like they “should be” calm, grateful, or gliding through postpartum… the pressure alone can create internal explosions.
You deserve support, not pressure.
What Postpartum Rage Doesn’t Mean
It does not mean:
You’re failing
You’re dangerous
You’re broken
You don’t love your baby
You’re not cut out for parenthood
It means you’re a human being in an intense, exhausting, transformative season. And I promise, this is something you can move through with understanding, support, and small shifts.
How to Cope With Postpartum Rage in Real Life
Identify Your Triggers
Rage often comes from overwhelm, not “anger issues.”
Is it noise? Touch? Mess? Nights? Feeling alone? All of the above?
Naming your triggers helps you reclaim control.
Share the Load
You shouldn’t have to do everything alone; feeding, cleaning, soothing, cooking, and remembering all the things. Ask for help and let others in. Your needs matter too!
Take “Micro Breaks”
Even 5 minutes in a quiet room, stepping outside to breathe fresh air, or handing baby to your partner can regulate your nervous system.
Fuel Your Body
Nourishment matters. Blood sugar dips, dehydration, and under-eating intensify emotional reactions dramatically.
Talk About It
You don’t need to hide this. Sharing with a partner, a doula, or a therapist brings relief and normalizes your experience.
When Postpartum Rage Means You Need Extra Support
If you feel constantly angry, hopeless, or emotionally flooded, or if the rage is interfering with your daily life, this may be a sign that you may need extra support.
This doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means you deserve more care than you’re getting.
Support is available, and you never have to walk this alone.
You’re Not Alone, And You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong
Postpartum is beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming. Rage is a very human response to an intense situation. You deserve compassion, understanding, and support—not silence or shame.
As a doula, I’ve walked this path with so many families, and I promise, there is nothing wrong with you. You are learning, healing, and adjusting to one of the biggest changes of your life.
If This Resonated, Here’s Your Next Step
If you’re in the thick of postpartum emotions and want support, from guidance to hands-on care, I’m here for you!
👉 Reach out to schedule postpartum support or learn more about how I can walk alongside your family. You don’t have to navigate this season alone.
